"We Place Our Trust In Holy Yackerboom"

"For every political inaction, there is an equal
and opposite press conference"

Our main man, er, life form, the Holy
Webmaster, a.k.a. The
Beast.
Welcome to the place where we aliens, busy
infiltrating and undermining humanity, can visit to catch up with the gossip,
learn of any policy changes, and meet new recruits arriving to work on this
misbegotten world.

Please remember that masturbating is not a form of
greeting on this planet, so keep those zipper, or zippers, fastened in the
closed position. It can be a dead giveaway, especially for you Hex-Pronged
Polecats from Petunia Prime.

It is recommended that we stop using the press
conference as a way of spreading our lies. The humans, even the Americans,
are starting to wake up to this method, even when national flags are used in the
background.

Hi mum!
This website is the work of the Fulminating and
Multidirectional Holy Webmaster,
the man who had to put his age up to join the human race. He is currently
living in Boiltheminthepotistan, where he in charge of interrogations, torture
that is not torture only quaint, and making the soup. The pointy bits with
the leather embellishments, provided on this site for your sexual gratification,
were provided to us at cost by Josef Stalin of the Friends Of Kulaks
Committee. The back and forward buttons on your browser have been upgraded
to a non-slip rubber surface, to avoid a repetition of those accidents where
visitors, anxious to get the hell away from this website, were slipping in their
own vomit and suffering head injuries as they careened head-first through their
monitors. We don't look our best covered with thin film transistors, do
we?

Don't forget, if war does break out on this
website, hide behind the nearest politician or genocide general. Works
every time.

We are pacifists here, and we will shoot the living
crap out of any warmonger we see hanging around this website.

We have worked very hard removing all traces of
Mickey Mouse from this website, and in reducing the Frankie Avalon and Beach
Blanket Bingo content to a level acceptable to the UNIFROCK ( United Nations
Institute For Removing Obvious Crappy K'Niggits). We have also
removed U.S. English from the website in the interests of your intellectual
wellbeing. We apologise for the shortages in the world supply of the
letter 'U' that this action has caused. We do not employ 'military
spokesmen' on this site, and our 'punditocracy' filters are armed and full
functional. The kids in Bristol may still be as sharp as a pistol, but
anyone caught doing the Bristol Stomp without their private parts having first
been painted crimson and gold, shall be sued to the fullest extent of our slush
fund.

This is, of course, the Executive Version of this
website. Believe me, you don't want to know about the version we push on
the plebs. The Executive Version has been cleared of land mines, and the
only cluster bombs left here are confined to those areas frequented by innocent
people in large numbers There is a Special Military Version of this
website, where only 5% of the words are actually exposed to harm from the
visitors, whilst the other 95% are kept in a walled fortress where they are
forced to endure junk food and air conditioning. Some of the words have
been caught misspelling themselves on purpose, hoping to get sent back to their
home alphabet early.

To avoid being invaded, we change the regime of
this website a minimum of three times daily.

Just remember - If it walks like an alien, talks
like an alien, acts like an alien, it could be Charlton Heston. Be careful
out there!

Email the Holy Webmaster BEFORE your human
disguise falls apart. It is too late afterwards!

Please notify us if any of this website is tending
to be sensible! Remember, it has to be understood by Neocons!

Banthas visiting this website must provide their
own fodder!

It is by will alone I put my bowels in
motion
It is by the juice of curry that my bowels acquire
speed
My bum acquires a stain
The stain becomes a warning
It is by will alone I put my bowels in
motion.
The Internet Police are going to get a nasty shock
if they try to raid this fully armed and operational website!
Copyright (C) 2006-2008 Brian Brett. All rights
reserved.
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