"Asketh not what Yackerboom can do for you, but
what you can do for Yackerboom"
Greetings and salutations to Obi-wan War-monger
from the planet Pinkorat. Always good to see one of your kind here.
Been pretty quiet here with only these little pissant, regime changing wars
going on. Now you are here, we know we can look forward to some good old
Armageddoning! Loves stuffing scorpions down his trousers whilst listening to
Michael Jackson's records played backwards. Must be a lot of laughs at
parties. Hold the world land speed record for fart assisted skateboard at
78.35 km/h. His recent effort of 83.971 km/h was disallowed as it was
deemed to be turd assisted. Not the first time 'following through' has let
him down, although it must be difficult to avoid when your species has 37 to 64
arseholes, depending on the time of day.
Please give a big, inhuman, welcome to
Rumsfeldclone the Hutt. Smart move, giving you the job of infiltrating the
Whitehouse, they'll never pick you out amongst all those other slugs. Not
much undermining left to do, I'm afraid, the place has already hit rock
bottom. Perhaps you could put Condoleezalaazaloozaluuzabatguano
Ricepudding in a bikini and let her dance on the end of a chain. Much as
she has been doing up until now.
Members are reminded to use caution and tact whilst
beaming. Beaming away some poor human's dick just because he gives you the
shits is the hight of bad manners, unless you are under contract to a sex change
clinic, and only then after you ask the victim first. Oh, and if a human tells
you to stick your head up your arse, it is meant only as an insult and is not to
be regarded as a fashion suggestion. Local rescue squads are overworked as
it is, and don't need to be spending most of their time using crowbars in and
around intergalactic fundamental orrifi.
Vulcans entering Pon Far! Please, please,
book a motel room BEFORE you start. Watching a Vulcan give seven years
worth in a public park is a little offputting to say the least!
Don't forget that the year 2008 will mark the 50th
anniversary of the Purple People Eater's arrival on earth, and the beginning of
the present wave of alien infiltration of the human race. Purple himself will be
attending the celebrations, although it should be pointed out that he no longer
plays rock and roll music through the horn in his head. Like most rock
stars past their use-by date, he has moved into insipid country music, complete
with spangled suit and matching toupee. It is not yet known if the Witch
Doctor can make the gig, but the Little Blue Man and Oliver Cool are definite
Copyright (C) 2006-2008 Brian Brett. All rights
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