"A Yackerboom a day keeps Bill O'Reilly
away"

Welcome to Earth, Goobgoob Barabajagle, member of
the 4th Circle of The Inner Sanctorum of The Guild Of Cat Stranglers, and heir
to the Five Rings Of Rosie, a rank equivilent to that of an
acting temporary apprentice junior clerk on this planet. Made his
mark on the factory floor, which he had to clean up afterwards. Corrupt,
but not very bright, at school he used to bribe his way into detention.
This went on for a number of years, until he worked out that he didn't have to
pay money to get into detention, he just needed to turn up. He has this great
party trick, where he makes milk eject from all his body openings at the same
time (same number as humans but with three extra), made infinitely more
interesting by his not having previously ingested anything. His ambition
is to fail to turn up for his own funeral as he has something more interesting
to do.

Look out, humans, Eyeball Ivan is in town and
coming to a keyhole near you! This is the being who not only expected the
Spanish Inquisition, but helped to design it! Worries a lot about his sexuality,
especially as he isn't getting any. Credited with inventing the pussy joke and
selling the rights to Mrs. Slocombe, he spent his formative years playing rhythm
guitar in Liberace's backing band. An expert in not finding WMDs, he is
employed as wanker-in-chief at the Whitehouse with responsibility for making
George Dubberyar Bush look intelligent. He achieves this by having George
stand close to Bonkers Bolton wherever possible. Was born as Bill Posters,
but he changed his name when he kept getting prosecuted.

Aquatic Entities! As this is a water planet,
there is plenty of room for you to get about, and there is NO need for you to to
hang around in bath tubs waiting for teenage girls to put in an
appearance. Besides, Freddy Kruger has this activity patented and he has
threatened to sue!

The Thrice
Cursed Holy Webmaster, may his name be eternally
misspelt, has decreed that hairy and furry entities will in future wear clothing
at all times, and will no longer try to pass themselves off as Greek
nudists.

Earthlings! Have complaints regarding this
website? Please send an email to the Snivelling
One, setting out your alleged complaint. It won't
make one bit of difference, but it will give you something to do with your
hands.

Copyright (C) 2006-2008 Brian Brett. All rights
reserved.
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