"A Yackerboom a day keeps Bill O'Reilly away"

Welcome to Earth, Goobgoob Barabajagle, member of the 4th Circle of The Inner Sanctorum of The Guild Of Cat Stranglers, and heir to the Five Rings Of Rosie, a rank equivilent to that of an acting temporary apprentice junior clerk on this planet.  Made his mark on the factory floor, which he had to clean up afterwards.  Corrupt, but not very bright, at school he used to bribe his way into detention.  This went on for a number of years, until he worked out that he didn't have to pay money to get into detention, he just needed to turn up. He has this great party trick, where he makes milk eject from all his body openings at the same time (same number as humans but with three extra), made infinitely more interesting by his not having previously ingested anything.  His ambition is to fail to turn up for his own funeral as he has something more interesting to do.

Look out, humans, Eyeball Ivan is in town and coming to a keyhole near you!  This is the being who not only expected the Spanish Inquisition, but helped to design it! Worries a lot about his sexuality, especially as he isn't getting any. Credited with inventing the pussy joke and selling the rights to Mrs. Slocombe, he spent his formative years playing rhythm guitar in Liberace's backing band.  An expert in not finding WMDs, he is employed as wanker-in-chief at the Whitehouse with responsibility for making George Dubberyar Bush look intelligent.  He achieves this by having George stand close to Bonkers Bolton wherever possible.  Was born as Bill Posters, but he changed his name when he kept getting prosecuted.

Aquatic Entities!  As this is a water planet, there is plenty of room for you to get about, and there is NO need for you to to hang around in bath tubs waiting for teenage girls to put in an appearance.  Besides, Freddy Kruger has this activity patented and he has threatened to sue!

The Thrice Cursed Holy Webmaster, may his name be eternally misspelt, has decreed that hairy and furry entities will in future wear clothing at all times, and will no longer try to pass themselves off as Greek nudists.

Earthlings!  Have complaints regarding this website?  Please send an email to the Snivelling One, setting out your alleged complaint.  It won't make one bit of difference, but it will give you something to do with your hands.

Copyright (C) 2006-2008 Brian Brett.  All rights reserved.

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