"Yackerboom is as Yackerboom does"

The Association Of Armed Webmasters today claimed victory over The Corporate Coders Coallition in the long running War Of Frames Restoration.  A spokesman for the Association stated that they could not remember which side of the war they were on, but as they had liquidated every corporate coder in the known universe, it didn't matter much anyway.

Arthur 'two sheds' Jackson, reckless idiot about town and professional television interviewee, today announced that he was making a comeback to public life, following his recent divorce from Ann Elk.  Having retained custody of his sheds, he feels he can hold his head up once again.  He said he didn't mind losing custody of the children, as they were all narrow at one end, big in the middle, and narrow again at the other end.  "I have a theory about this", Ann Elk stated, "But it's mine".  She apparently has new career on the Microsoft Office team as a deputy blind carbon copy.  Not bad for somebody who started out as a comma in a dirty joke.

The Lime Beer Corporation, the entity that gives even corporate cowboys a bad name, today announced two new flavours of Lime Beer, Baby Seal and Giant Panda.  Actually, they all taste the same, so the LBC have promised that for every bottle sold, they will kill one baby seal or giant panda as the case may be.  They stated that their next flavour using the same system, Neocondom, will hit the shelves next month, and they feel that they can't lose with this one.  They have already received 100,000 advance orders.

The U.S. military have been embarrassed by the disclosure that they have been so busy building and staffing bases in everybody else's country, that all the ones at home are empty.  They stated that they will have to raise the stop-loss orders to 100% of serving full time and reserve personnel, and extend the period to 70 years after the death of the individual.  Then the military will be at full strength, if a little smelly.

Steiner's Army, missing since the Battle For Berlin, turned up today in Leichtenstein, stating that they had been busy picnicing in the Alps.  They were stunned to hear that Hitler had lost the war, as they had been watching Fox News.

Following a rebellion in the English Language, it has been agreed that E will not have to wait for C to come along to gain precedence over I.  Also, the requirement of having to use capitals to begin sentences has been dropped, to ease unemployment within the ranks of lower case letters still suffering from the brutal layoffs brought about by U.S. English.

Copyright (C) 2006-2008 Brian Brett.  All rights reserved.

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